Friday, June 10, 2011

Transitioning from the Significant Other's POV

One of the factors that played heavily into my decision to finally go natural was my husband. His opinion certainly matters...I could not in good conscious pursue natural hair without my primary supporter completely on board. I've flirted with the idea of natural hair for years. I've admired it on other women. Stared in awe at others curls and coils. Throughout the years we've been together, I've pointed out women with short, long, curly and kinky natural hair and asked: Do you like that? What if my hair looked like that? Over time my husband's horizons have broadened in regards to black women's hair.

Something I wanted to flesh out a bit is the idea that while I'm transitioning, he's 'transitioning' as well. So last night, I decided to 'interview' my husband about my process.

Questions I asked:

ME: In the past, what do you think/feel about natural hair overall?
HIM: Hmmm...not sure that I really thought about it much. I guess I thought that it was a look that only worked on some people. see someone and think, yeah, that looks good on her, but I didnt think that it would look good on everybody. doesn't make sense...I mean, it's your hair. Of course it would look right on you.

ME: What did you think when I told you that I was going to go natural?
HIM: Honestly? I didn't think you knew what you were getting in to. All the work that would be involved.
ME: ????? (in hindsight I understand this better bc it HAS been a lot of work. But I wonder how he knew that, lol.)

ME:Did you have any preconceived notions or have heard stereotypes about natural hair?
HIM: Stereotypes? Not really....well, maybe? I figured people with natural hair were trying to capture their African Heritage. Not conform to society.
At this point he also mentioned that he didnt realized that everybody had different textures and curl patterns. He thought all black people had the same 'black' texture.

ME:How do you think you'll feel once I cut my hair?
HIM: I don't know. I have no idea. Then he asked me: Why do you want to cut your hair? I took this to mean, why big chop? why not just grow my hair completely out before chopping? I told him that dealing with the 2 textures is difficult. They fight each other and breakage/damage happens. Not a good look. I also told him about not knowing my true texture and honestly just wanting to get rid of the straight hair to see what God gave me. To see how God intended for me to look.

We were in the car at the time and after this I judged that he'd had enough questioning about hair, lol. I did ask him that if I were to big chop myself would he help me. He answered 'Yes' without any hesitation.

So there it is...As time goes on I'll ask him for his thoughts here and there. If he says anything profound then I'll do another post. :)

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